Comment Wall

Fate, Free Will, and Karma

Comments

  1. Hey Jake! Your chosen themes for the storybook are super interesting. I think fate, free will, and karma are phenomenons that still mystify and confuse us, so I hope to learn more about each theme reading your stories. I also think the dichotomy between fate and free will are interesting since some people argue that what happens to us is due to fate, while others think that we hold our fates in our own hands. I'm looking forward to see how you choose to frame these two ideas in your stories. For your intro story, I really liked it! You're a good writer and it felt like reading an old fable from a storybook. I also liked that you decided you told the story from the captain's point of view since it puts the reader in the shoes of the captain. We don't know what's happening and why it's happening, but it's scary and fascinating. I also think you added more depth with the story too, so good job!

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  2. Hey Jake!
    I think your ideas for the story are really cool, and they definitely incorporate some major Indian Epic themes well. Your writing style is really nice, a lot like most classic storybooks, and the introductory paragraph made me sit back happily and prepare for a good story. I wonder though, is the Introduction a briefing or foreshadowing of other stories to come, or is it just going ahead and telling a story already? Are you going to connect your stories, or just have a compilation of stories that exemplify Karma? My only suggestions for you are to include a more specific overview on the very first title page, though the short little length of it was good, and for the introduction explain how the stories are going to fit together or at least relate to each other through the common theme of Karma. Good job, and I can’t wait to read the rest of your stories!

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  3. Hi Jake!

    I thought your storybook concept of Karma was super interesting and unique, especially since that is such a consistent theme throughout many Indian epics and legends, and in mythology around the world, so you have a lot of source material to choose from. I’m curious to see what other stories you’ll use in your story book, and I’m interested in reading more stories from you in the future and seeing where you take these ideas. A few critiques I have would be that the formatting on the home page is a little confusing. I think it’s 2 columns? But it looks like the first sentence just goes into image info instead. Also, I think the connection between the story you wrote in your introduction and the concept of karma could be a bit stronger, since I was a little confused about where the concept of fate came into play.

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  4. Hey! So just finished up going through your website and I think it is very nicely created. I love the concept of Karma and I look forward and see how you craft more stories around this idea. Karma is something that I personally believe in and I think it actually has effects on us. Cosmic questions are super fascinating and I think that you have so much room to experiment in. I think the first story showed the power of choice in this world. The sailors were given a chance at life and then they were given a choice. The karma functions not just as you get what you get, but you are rewarded with action. I think that the actions and opportunities given to them speak to that. This subject is super fascinating and I hope that you continue on this and I hope that you enjoy working on it! Good luck!

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  5. Jake,
    I really like your idea and concept for your project. I am also doing my project on Karma so I am obviously very interested in finding out what other people think. I am going from a different angle so it's cool to see other Karma projects and how although we all have similar ideas, our stories are so different from one another. Your website design is very cool and on theme with how Karma is almost a universal thing and every decision ever person makes matters in the end. I think your first story shows Karma in a very interesting way. The idea that Karma is a choice is very prevalent and I think your use of it so far in your project depicts your idea of Karma well. I think your writing in your first story is very well thought-out and very descriptive that readers enjoy it and want to read more. I can't wait to read more of your stories and learn more about your ideal concept of Karma.

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  6. Hey Jake,

    Interesting concept, I think it is very creative! Content-wise I think you know what you're doing so I don't have any suggestions for that! There are, however, a couple grammar mistakes I saw while reading your story. One of the biggest is that you constantly mixed up your verb tenses. For example "The moon is high in the sky and the waves are getting choppy." This is awkward to read because you mixed up verb tenses. I would go back through your story and make sure they're all in the same tense.

    Some of the formatting is also awkward. In your introduction, you have your introductory sentence on the side, the image information right next to it, and your comment wall at the bottom. I think it would look nicer to have introduction on top, your comment wall right under it, and the image information at the bottom. This way, everything is lined up and your most important parts (introductory sentence and comment wall) are at the top. The story is also just one big paragraph, it would look much nicer and easier to read if you split it up.

    Hope this helped and good luck with the story!

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  7. Hello Jake! I thought your story was quite the thriller! It definitely had some exciting mythical characters - the pegasus, fairy, and flesh-eating goblins. For some reason, I felt this Percy Jackson and the Olympians vibe going on, maybe because all those books and movies were about Percy and his friends constantly escaping and running into new enemies and obstacles. Nonetheless, I thoroughly enjoyed your story! A few things I might consider for revisions is the formatting in your Intro. Since it was one big paragraph, it seemed a bit overwhelming from the start. I would try to split it up to make it more visually appealing and overall organized. There was also quite a jump in the plot from the storm forming, to land being nearby, and the ship suddenly sinking and all. It felt like everything was just happening out of nowhere, so I would try to ease in all these events somehow, or maybe just word it in a way to have everything flow nicely. Other than that, great work!

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